Beautiful Blue Skies and Bittersweet Fall Days

Eighteen years ago, my life forever changed for the better. I gave birth to my firstborn, Clayton Roy Taylor. God blessed Jeff and I with that precious boy and allowed us to be his parents for one short year. In some ways, it seems like yesterday and in some ways it seems like an eternity ago. When the sky magically gets true blue when September hits it brings back those terrifying first days but also the love I felt that I had never felt before. I will always miss him but never wish him back. Clay is with our amazing Abba Father and living the eternal life I hope and dream for. Every year at this time God teaches me something new. I do wonder what it would have been like had he lived a full earthly life....would he be playing football against Hoover tonight, playing in the band, painting his body and running with the OMHS flags down the field, or just being a great fan? But in my heart of hearts, I know that if he had lived he would not be doing any of those things because his body was broken. I am grateful to God for his mercy and grace to take him and let him be whole in heaven rather than broken on earth. This year's lesson is that God needed Clay and because he loves me so, he heard my prayer for one healthy child to raise to love him. He blessed our lives with Ellen and she does love God so much. She can't take her brother's place but she has such a special place of her own. Even as I write this I ache with love for her. To think that our Abba Father loves her more than I ache with love for her. Wow - how overwhelming and uncomprehendible (is that a word??) So on this day, September 10, 2010 - Happy 18th Birthday Sweet Baby Clay. Mama loves and misses you.